videohall:

News Anchor in my area loses it over a Fat Cat that likes to swim.

kerrypolka:

kinkstertime:

This whole bit is made all the funnier by knowing that all of the guards were just random extras who weren’t told what was going to happen only that they weren’t allowed laugh at any cost as they wouldn’t be payed if they did.

At uni I took a screenwriting course from THIS VERY GUARD EXTRA (who went on to contribute to some of the Python stuff), who confirms this and also that Michael Palin would use different ridiculous names in every take, so they couldn’t even prepare themselves for hearing it.

passific-rim-job:

i’d be the worst PR-manager ever
my client would be like “there are rumours going around that i’m a gay satanist” and i’d be like “hahaha awesome”

purrprinthom:

sketchinetch:

cremebuns:

emeralddragoness:

cremebuns:

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

GOD

SHUT UP

UR SO STUPID

image

[x]

the comic is killing me

onlylolgifs:

Hong Kong protester catching a tear gas grenade and throwing it back

Anonymous asked: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

molecularbiologistproblems:

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

This is totally biology related.

meladoodle:

the most exciting thing that has happened today is when my best friend tried to say ‘wait’ and ‘hang on’ at the same time and ended up saying ‘wang on’ and I thought about it on the way home and nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard

flourishnblottts:

cumberbatched-in-the-shire:

whitebeltwriter:

There needs to be a bar or club or something that when you walk in there’s a rack of different color wristbands with words like “I’m looking for-“

  • girls
  • boys
  • anyone
  • no one
  • friends
  • etc

So that everyone would know who’s looking for who.

Like:

"Hey that girl is cute. And her wristband says she’s also looking for a girl. Sweet!”

Or:

"He’s cute, but his wristband says girls. Oh well."

you are the future

AK